How does it make you feel when you.....

OK, so I don't believe that God speaks to people through talking donkeys or burning bushes anymore. Those days are over. Today calls for a faith stronger than that. I have to believe that if God has a message for me, that he can speak to me in more subtle ways if necessary. I have to believe also that he can knock me upside the head if need be.
He wants me to look for Him in day to day activities. He wants me to talk to Him.Let me repeat part of my post from FB a couple of weeks ago," God takes you seriously when you enter HIS presence...He turns to hear your voice." I owe him the same courtesy, when He in all His glory, makes himself known to me.

What's all this about? And what on earth does it have to do with the picture above? Ya ll' know I always try to make a connection in the end...bring it all together somehow from my head to this blog (when i blog!)

So I read, right? I read 2 books a week on average. I like them all. I rarely read one I don't like, because if I'm not going to like it, I know by the first chapter, and I don't read further. I get SOMETHING out of all of them. A quip, a quote, an idea, a one-liner...but the last two weeks I have read two books that have been about ME. They have spoken to ME. They have been for ME. I was suppose to read them. I have had them both for a while, one I gave as a gift because I felt like someone else needed to read it...funny how that worked out. I can't tell you which character out of each book was me, but if you read them, you'll figure it out, but there was no doubt that God was speaking to me through these books. They both are Christian fiction, my genre of choice.

The last book I finished only lastnight, was "Healing Waters". Read about it here: http://www.womenoffaith.com/bookclub/09/healingwaters/. It was a women of faith book of the year. Anyway, I took it to church last Sunday night, and my friend Amy B. sat by me (who is a counselor) and she said, (about the author) "oh, he's a Christian counselor". I had no idea, but this author/co author, had been counseling me through this book. What he was writing on the pages was worthy of application in my life...it wasn't fiction. I was hungry for this book. I could so relate to this character on so many levels. The other night I read a line that I have not been able to get out of my mind. The author (who also is a counselor/therapist) in the book, was having a session with the main character and they were discussing how long it had been since she'd danced. She'd been an excellent dancer in her youth and into High School and could have been professional. Through a cascade of very sad events, she lost her dreams. Anyway, Then he asked her, how did it make you feel when you were dancing? This is what I could not stop thinking about. He left her with that question and he left me with it too. I put the book down for a couple of days and I just pondered it.

I love photography. I own 5 cameras and 4 lenses. I have always enjoyed taking pictures and capturing moments then scrap booking those moments...but I've lost that passion somehow...like Lucia in the book...I'm not dancing anymore, and I haven't in about a year and I have been struggling with why. I have fooled myself into thinking that it's because I don't have time. 'I have too many obligations elsewhere'...or "when I finally sit down for the night I don't want to do it"...my room is a mess...I have too much stuff...I don't have what I need...I need to clean out...I need to get organized...I'm so behind i don't know where to start. The honest truth is that none of that matters really. What matters is that I deserve and you deserve to do the things that make you feel good about yourself. It comes easier to some, not so much to others. I'm one of those people that doesn't feel worthy of the good feeling of accomplishment. I still don't know why. I'm trying to figure that out still, but I'm on it.

The truth is, we all do "tasks" every day that need to be done...laundry, dishes, shuffling kids to and fro...but those things don't "stay" done. They come undone...the basket fills back up, the sink isn't empty long...the kids have to be picked up eventually...but the joy that you experience when you do something that you enjoy can't be taken away. That picture, once you take it, is there forever. That scrapbook page, once you create it...is there forever. It can't be undone...well, technically, it could (Jen B.) but 'y'all know what I mean. So I needed to read this book, because it's me. This lady deals with all sorts of issues...it's a fabulous book, as was the one before it. The other book I read first was "Home Another Way". You can find it here: http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=0764205234&mscssid=BQFX7NWL1QTA9P08FN6J429WU254EE42. I couldn't stand this main character, but yet I could relate to her. That scared me.

So ponder these things...with me.